Over The Edge
by Batdude365
Summary: Lincoln gets on Lori's nerves for presumably the very last time, and she does the unthinkable to him.
1. Chapter 1

**NOTE:** This whole mini-series is meant to be a satire of the dramatic Loud House fanfics out there, like "Lincoln is Done", for example. (Sam=me, the author, not to be confuse with Luna's crush)

Hope you guys enjoy!

* * *

[The story starts with Lincoln and Sam playing Smash 4 on their 3DS's.]

 **Lincoln:** Yeah! I'm going to beat you with one of my Falcon Punches, Sam!

 **Sam:** Not if I get you with one of my Bonus Fruits and Fire Hydrant!

[A screen showing "This game's winner is... Captain Falcon!" shows up on both of their screens.]

 **Lincoln:** Yes! Whoo!

[Lincoln gets too excited and his 3DS slips out of his hands and out his door, which then leads to the 3DS landing on Luna's bagpipes, which blows away Lana's skateboard. The skateboard collides with Luan's special Jack-in-the-Box, which launches a pie at Lori's prom dress in front of Lori & Leni's door.]

 **Lincoln:** [gasps] Lori's prom dress! It's ruined!

[Just then, Lori comes up the stairs, talking to Bobby on her phone as usual, until she sees the damage done to her prom dress.]

 **Lori:** I picked out the perfect tux for you to wear, Bobby. No, not puke, Bobby. Puce. It's like a reddish brownish. But, I couldn't find any space in the closet for it, because of all the stuff Leni has in there, so I- [gasps in horror at her ruined prom dress] I'll call you back. [hangs up] Who could've- [spots Lincoln's orange 3DS]

[Lincoln looks through his slightly cracked door to see an enraged Lori, and then he quickly closes it. Lori's head turns red as steam exits her ears]

 **Lori:** [at the very top of her lungs] LINCOLN!

[A frightened Lincoln swiftly locks the door and barricades it.]

 **Lincoln:** Come on, Sam! We gotta run! [looks around the room for possible escape routes] I got it! Through the window!

[Lincoln & Sam were about to go through the window until Lori punches Lincoln's door so hard, there's a huge gaping hole in the door and all of the stuff barricading it fell all over the room, fortunately not hitting either Lincoln nor Sam.]

 **Lori:** Now you're gonna get it this time, Lincoln!

 **Sam:** [runs in front of a terrified Lincoln] If you want to get to my best friend, you're gonna have to get through me first.

[Lori grabs Sam and chucks him towards the stairs, where he falls down and screams]

 **Lincoln:** Sam!

[Cut to Sam falling down the stairs, doing Bobby McFerrin-esque scatting in the process.]

[Cut back to Lincoln's room, where Lincoln is held by the shirt by an angry Lori.]

 **Lincoln:** [crying] I'm sorry, Lori! I didn't mean to ruin your dress! Please don't turn me into a human pretzel!

 **Lori:** [menacingly] Oh, don't you worry, Lincoln. I'm not turning you into a human pretzel. I actually have something better lined up for you.

[Lori drags Lincoln to her room, throws him on the floor, and locks the door behind her.]

 **Lori:** No one's going to save you this this time, twerp! Don't you go anywhere! You stay right here! [goes into the closet and pulls out a belt]

 **Lincoln:** [terrified beyond capacity, crying] No! Please, Lori! Please give me another chance!

 **Lori:** You have been given far too many chances!

[Lori slowly walks up to Lincoln and starts whipping him mercilessly like there's no tomorrow. Lincoln, in the process, is yelping for help and bawling his eyes out.]

 **Lori:** DON'T YOU EVER DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT TO ME AGAIN! DO YOU HEAR ME?!

 **Lincoln:** [bawling] Yes!

 **Lori:** DO YOU HEAR ME?! [whips Lincoln several more times]

 **Lincoln:** [bawling] Yes!

 **Lori:** [unlocks her door] NOW, GET OUT OF HERE, YOU WHITE HAIRED FREAK!

[Lincoln runs out of Lori's room, past 8 of his sisters, bawling his eyes out.]

 **Luna:** What you did to Lincoln was WAY harsh!

 **Lori:** DO ANY OF YOU WANT TO GET WHIPPED NEXT?!

[The sisters are instantly silenced.]

 **Lori:** That's what I thought. [slams her door]

 **Sam:** [comes back the stairs] Hey, guys. What did I miss?

 **Luna:** Hey, Sam. Do you know what happened when Lori burst into Lincoln's room?

 **Sam:** Well, she was super angry at Lincoln for unintentionally ruining her prom dress. I was trying to protect him from her, but Lori threw me down the stairs. And I'm just now regaining consciousness.

 **Luna:** Well, about what you missed, Lori whipped Lincoln with a belt. HARD.

 **Sam:** [surprised] Excuse me for a second. [goes to get a glass of water downstairs and goes back up to the hallway, drinks some of the water, then spit-takes] She did what?! I gotta go and make sure Lincoln's okay.

 **Leni & Luna: **Us too.

[The three go over to Lincoln's room and notice the huge hole in the door. They look through it and see that a severely bruised Lincoln is in a fetal position on his bed facing the wall, holding Bun-Bun in his arm, fondling his hair, sucking his thumb, and crying.]

 **Leni:** [concerned] Lincoln?

[After the mentioning of his name, Lincoln jumps up onto the ceiling, shaking]

 **Lincoln:** [screams] Don't whip me again, Lori! Please don't whip me again!

 **Luna:** Actually, it's me, Leni, and Sam. Just come down from the ceiling, bro. We want to talk to you.

[Lincoln drops from the ceiling and falls into Luna's arms. She then gently sets Lincoln back on his bed.]

 **Luna:** Me, Leni, the other sisters except Lily, and Sam know what Lori did to you.

[At the mere mention of Lori's name, Lincoln instantly starts bawling his eyes out into Luna's shirt.]

 **Luna:** There, there. Let it all out, Linc.

 **Lincoln:** [wiping off his tears] Sorry for ruining your shirt, Luna.

 **Luna:** It's okay, bro. Besides, I have a ton more of these shirts in my closet.

 **Lincoln:** It's just that, [starts crying again] I feel so abused. Lori violated me. She took my innocence.

 **Luna:** It's okay, Linc. We'll get through this situation, by any means necessary.

 **Lincoln:** [wiping off his tears] Really?

 **Luna:** Really.

[Luna, Leni, and Sam hug Lincoln for comfort.]

 **Luna:** So, do you want us to sleep with you tonight to keep you company, and so that you-know-who doesn't come back to finish the job?

 **Lincoln:** Yes. I would really appreciate it. Thanks, guys.

 **Leni:** Thank goodness. Because I didn't want to sleep in the same room with a sibling abuser. And I really didn't want to end up sleeping on the couch.

 **Sam:** Don't mention it, buddy. Also, I'm sorry I failed you back there.

 **Lincoln:** It's okay. You against an angry Lori is like a toddler going up against a Mexican bull.

 **Sam:** Now that I think about it, that's a pretty accurate analogy.

[Leni and Luna get in both sides of the bed, with Lincoln in between. Then, Sam goes to the end of the bed and goes to sleep, much like a dog.]

 **Lincoln:** Good night, guys.

 **Sam, Leni, & Luna: **Good night, Lincoln.

[The four go to sleep.]

 **TO BE CONTINUED**


	2. Chapter 2

[During the night, Lincoln had a particularly disturbing nightmare that involved very recent events. It started out pretty calm and peaceful-like.]

[Lincoln is playing Turbo Street Racing XXVI in the living room.]

 **Lori:** [from her room] Lincoln! We need to talk for a second.

 **Lincoln:** [pausing his game] Coming! [walks up the stairs] What did you need?

[He then sees multiple Loris in her room.]

 **Lori 1:** Oh, nothing. It's just that we needed to test out this rope on someone.

 **Lincoln:** And out of all the people in the house, you chose me?

 **Lori 2:** What other people? It's just you and your 10 sisters, all named Lori.

[Just then, Lori 3 closed the door behind Lincoln and locks it.]

 **Lincoln:** [scared]Wait, why are you locking the door?

 **Lori 3:** [menacingly] That is none of your concern, Lincy.

 **Lori 1:** Now, we need you to sit on this chair. [pulls out a chair from behind her back]

 **Lincoln:** OK? [sits on the chair]

 **Lori 4:** Good boy. Now, Lori and Lori are going to tie up your arms and legs. Don't try to fight it.

[Lori 5 and Lori 6 do as such.]

 **Lori 1:** And the last step is...

[Loris 1-10 pull out belts]

 **Lori 1:** [demonic voice] Punishing you for your existence.

[All 10 Loris then whip Lincoln mercilessly like there's no tomorrow. Lincoln couldn't protect himself from the onslaught since he was tied up. So, all he could do is take it. After sundown, a severely bruised Lincoln is untied from the chair and is chokeholded by Lori 1.]

 **Lori 1** : [normal voice] Let me tell you something, L-Bird. Me and your other sisters NEVER loved you. In fact, we have always HATED you ever since you were born. When we came back from the hospital, we have made it our mission to make your life a living nightmare. So, after saying that, YOU mean NOTHING to ME! YOU are the BANE of MY EXISTENCE! Same goes for your other sisters! [slams Lincoln down on the floor so hard, he makes a hole in Lori's floor and lands back on the couch] Alright, twerp! You're gonna pay for making this hole! We're coming back down there!

[The 10 Loris jump through the hole and pounce onto Lincoln to give him the beating of a lifetime. Lincoln screams at the top of his lungs. Cut to reality where Lincoln's screaming wakes up Leni, Luna, and Sam.]

 **Luna:** [shaking Lincoln] Wake up, bro! You're having a nightmare!

 **Lincoln:** [waking up crying] Guys, can I ask you something?

 **Leni, Luan, & Sam: **Go ahead. Ask away.

 **Lincoln:** Do any of you hate me?

[Leni, Luna, and Sam laugh really hard at that question. They take a moment to catch their breath, then they start laughing again, much to Lincoln's discomfort.]

 **Leni:** Of course we don't, Lincy!

 **Lincoln:** Oh. That's what I thought. What about the others?

 **Luna:** They love you, too.

 **Lincoln:** After last night, I'm pretty sure a CERTAIN sister has been against me since I was born.

 **Sam:** I see you're still distraught about, "the incident" with Lori.

 **Lincoln:** I'm pretty sure she never loved me.

 **Luna:** Of course she does.

 **Lincoln:** Now, that's pretty hard to believe. [starts crying] She told me right to my face that I mean nothing to her and I was the bane of her existence.

 **Sam:** [putting 2 and 2 together] Wait a minute. That must have been what Lori told him in his nightmare.

 **Leni & Luna: **[hugging Lincoln] You don't need to worry about HER hurting you anymore. We and your other sisters will help protect you at any costs.

 **Sam:** [joins the hug] Same here, pal.

 **Lincoln:** [wiping off his tears] Thanks, guys. Now, I'll go get me some breakfast. [about to leave the room until Luna grabs him and sets him back on the bed]

 **Luna:** No. Me and Leni will make you breakfast and bring it up here, so you won't run into Lori again.

 **Sam:** I'll keep you company until they get back.

 **Lincoln:** Thanks, guys. You're the best.

[Cut to later when Lincoln is eating the pancakes, sausages, eggs, hash browns, and orange juice Luna and Leni made.]

 **Lincoln:** Thanks! This is delicious!

 **Luna:** Nothing is too good for our little bro.

[Sam sees the date and time on his phone.]

 **Sam:** I just realized that today's a school day!

 **Lincoln:** [gasps] Oh my gosh! It completely slipped my mind! [quickly finishes up the rest of his breakfast] [to Luna and Leni] Can you tell the others that it's time for school?

 **Luna:** On it!

[Luna goes to tell the others the news.]

 **Leni:** Don't worry about Lori today, Lincy. Today, I'm driving us to school. It has been a long and hard route to get my driver's license, but I couldn't have done it without you. [hugs Lincoln again]

 **Lincoln:** You're welcome, but what about Lori?

 **Leni:** Don't worry. Bobby's picked her up today. Today's the homecoming prom.

[After hearing that news, Lincoln gets a horrified expression on his face. The events that occured last night flashed before his eyes.]

 **Leni:** Don't worry, Lincy. Lori eventually calmed down and found a way to make the dress work in its current condition. [notices Lincoln's state] Lincy?

[Lincoln snaps out of the trance and acknowledges Leni.]

 **Lincoln:** I guess that's reassuring. I'll just try not to do anything that might tick her off in the forseeable future.

 **Luna:** [from downstairs] Come on, dudes! We're going to be late!

 **Sam, Leni, & Lincoln: **We're coming down!

[Cut to later when Lincoln and Sam are dropped off at Royal Woods Public School, for grades K-8.]

 **Sam:** I guess we'll meet after school.

 **Lincoln:** I guess so.

[Sam and Lincoln head off on their separate ways.]

[During the day, several of Lincoln's friends and classmates notice how frightened and traumatized Lincoln was today, even though it was Friday. During lunch...]

 **Clyde:** Lincoln? What's wrong?

 **Lincoln:** [low voice] I don't want to talk about it.

 **Clyde:** Did this involve one of your sisters? Lynn? Lola? Luan? Lisa? [lovestruck] Even sweet, sweet Lori?

 **Lincoln:** [frightened] Don't you dare mention that name!

 **Clyde:** Lynn?

 **Lincoln:** No. After that.

 **Clyde:** Luan?

 **Lincoln:** [sighs] The last one.

 **Clyde:** Lori?

 **Lincoln:** Yes, that one!

 **Clyde:** What happened yesterday at home, regarding her?

[Lincoln tells Clyde everything that happened that night.]

 **Clyde:** Did she really do that to you?

 **Lincoln:** [sniffling] Yes. But please don't tell anyone else this, Clyde.

 **Clyde:** Consider this secret hidden.

[Unfortunately for them, their classmates have heard their entire conversation.]

 **Rusty:** Oh, man. Poor Lincoln.

 **Liam:** A guy like him shouldn't have to experience something like that.

 **Zach:** We can't just let this just go under the radar. We need to tell the world!

 **Rusty:** But, Lincoln doesn't want anyone else to find out about this.

 **Zach:** But, this is for his own good.

 **Rusty & Liam: **Oh, what the heck.

[The three go and spread the word about Lincoln's trauma, which then leads to the story being on the front cover of this week's school paper. It was also distributed to the high school, along with the other news in the high school paper.]

[Cut to later at the high school. Lori is in geometry class and is really excited about going to the prom with Bobby, despite the current condition of her prom dress. Just then, Bobby walks over to her.]

 **Bobby:** Hey, Lori. We need to talk for a second.

 **Lori:** What do you need, Bobby Boo Boo Bear? [romantically winking at him]

 **Bobby:** Now, how do I go about saying this? Lori, I'm afraid we have to break up.

 **Lori:** Excuse me for a second. [requests a hall pass, goes to the water fountain to fill up a water bottle, comes back to the classroom, drinks some of it, and spit-takes] [devastated] What?!

 **Bobby:** I'm sorry it has to be this way, babe. We're through now. [goes back to his seat]

[Then, the bell rings, thus ending another day of school. Now, Lori walks through the hallway with an extremely devastated look on her face.]

[Cut to the Royal Woods Public School when Sam is going through the hallway. He then notices the school paper's front cover in the newspaper carriers.]

 **Sam:** Huh? What's this? [opens the newspaper door to see the cover better, gasps] [calls Lynn, Lucy, Lana, Lola, and Lisa] Hey guys! I think you should see this! I'm at the newspaper carrier!

[Cut to the five Louds walking to where Sam is.]

 **Lisa:** What is the meaning of this?

 **Sam:** Look at this week's school paper. [shows them the front cover]

 **Lynn:** Strange. The two people in the picture look a lot like Lincoln and Lori.

 **Lisa:** That's because it IS the aforementioned two, Lynn.

[Lynn takes the paper from Sam and examines it more.]

 **Lynn:** [gasps] You're right. This IS Lincoln and Lori. Oh, man, what if this was on the cover of the papers at the high school?

 **Lisa:** Fear not, elder sister. It's statistically unlikely that one article from an elementary/junior high school paper is going to end up in the high school paper.

[Cut to Luan, Luna, and Leni looking at the same article.]

 **Luna:** Dudes, this is bad!

 **Leni:** Yeah! Lincoln and Lori got on the front page and the rest of us didn't!

 **Luna:** No, Leni! That's not the problem! The problem here is the whole school is going to know what Lori did to Lincoln yesterday!

 **Luan:** Yeah! We can't break the news to Lori about this! [laughs]

[Luna and Leni glare at Luan disapprovingly.]

 **Luan:** I'm sorry. I knew that was a terrible pun, too.

 **Lori:** [behind the three] So, what are you guys talking about here?

[The three sisters jump from fright. Luna hides the paper behind her back.]

 **Luna:** [nervously] N-N-Nothing, sis.

 **Luan:** [nervously] Yeah. Nothing to see here.

 **Lori:** [irritated] I know you three are hiding something from me. What is it?

 **Leni:** Well, if you think we're acting nervous because an article about-

[Luan covers Leni's mouth.]

 **Luan:** She has no idea what she's talking about.

 **Lori:** Luan, just let Leni finish what she was saying.

 **Luan:** Are you sure? You're not gonna like this.

 **Lori:** [sternly]Just let Leni finish.

 **Luan:** Oh, alright. [uncovers Leni's mouth]

 **Leni:** OK, so as I was saying, if you think we're acting nervous because an article about what you did to Lincoln yesterday made the front page of this week's paper, then you're dead wrong!

 **Lori:** [growls angrily] Leni, can I gather from that response that Lincoln tattled on me to everyone he knew, including the school news press?! And that's the reason Bobby broke up with me in geometry?!

 **Leni:** [nervously] Um, maybe?

 **Lori:** [angrily] Luna, give me that paper behind your back. NOW.

[Luna does such, and Lori sees the front cover]

 **Lori:** [growls like a vicious panther; so loud it could be heard through the entire town] YOU'RE A DEAD MAN, LINCOLN LOUD!

 **TO BE CONTINUED**


	3. Chapter 3

[The last bell of the day rings, with all the students rushing out to start their weekend. The last few that come out are Lynn, Lucy, Lana, Lola, Lisa, and Sam, who all have worried expressions.]

 **Lynn:** [sighs] Maybe you're right, Lis. Maybe the front page didn't make it to the high school.

[Just then, the six hear, "YOU ARE A DEAD MAN, LINCOLN LOUD!" from the high school.]

 **Lisa:** Well, I stand corrected. It did get to the high school.

 **Lynn:** Yeah, [to Sam] Sam, can we gather from that massive outburst next door that Lori found out about the front page scandal?

 **Sam:** Well, that's a pretty safe bet, to say the least. Speaking of Lori, where's Lincoln?

 **Lisa:** I believe he's finishing something up in woodshop and then he'll be out here.

 **Sam:** Well, when he comes here, we'll have to break the news to him about the paper and Lori's crosshairs set on him.

[Lincoln finally comes out, along with Clyde, Rusty, Liam, and Zach.]

 **Lincoln:** Hey, guys. What's going on?

Lynn: [scratching arm] Well, you see, bro, it's about-

 **Sam:** The incident from yesterday made the front page on this week's school paper, and somehow made its way to the high school. In addition, Lori found out about it and she's going to be out to get you.

 **Lincoln:** Wait, what?! [to Clyde] Clyde! I thought I told you to not tell anyone else!

 **Clyde:** I kept that promise! I have no idea who found out and blabbed about to everyone, including the school press.

 **Rusty, Liam, & Zach: **[guilty]Yeah, about that...

 **Lincoln:** Wait a minute! Are you three telling me that you told everyone in the school about my secret?

 **Rusty:** Yes.

 **Lincoln:** Well, I'm pretty disappointed in you three. I would be more mad at you guys right now, but I'm now facing certain death indirectly because of you three!

 **Sam:** Don't worry. I'm pretty sure Leni, Luna, and Luan fleed from the school before that massive outburst.

 **Luna:** And we've been here this whole time.

[Sam jumps from the surprise.]

 **Sam:** Geez, now Lucy's got you guys doing that.

 **Luan:** Sorry.

[Everyone huddles up]

 **Sam:** Anyways, I've got a plan to preserve Lincoln's well-being. [to Rusty, Liam, & Zach] I need you three to go to the Loud House to lead Lori on a wild goose chase so she won't be coming after Lincoln for a while. [to Lincoln] And you can stay at my house for the time-being. [to everyone else] And everyone else, go to my house too to watch over Lincoln.

 **Lincoln:** OK, but what are you gonna do?

 **Sam:** I'm gonna stall Lori from finding you.

 **Clyde:** [pointing to Rusty, Liam, and Zach] How come they're going to see Lori?

 **Sam:** Because they're the least likely to give away Lincoln's current whereabouts because of their obsession with her, which they don't have, and they're the least likely to nosebleed and pass out right after.

 **Clyde:** Oh. I understand.

 **Sam:** Now, everyone, break!

[Rusty, Liam, and Zach head over to the Loud House while the rest are guided to Sam's house.]

 **Rusty:** Alright, so when we go in there, what are we going to tell Lori?

 **Liam:** Maybe that Lincoln went off to Dairyland with Sam and Clyde?

 **Zach:** I think that's a good one. Let's use that.

[The three open the front door to face an enraged Lori. The three are then quickly held by their shirts.]

 **Lori:** WHERE. IS. LINCOLN?!

 **Rusty:** [nervously] Well, you see, he went off to Dairyland with Sam and Clyde after school.

[Lori lets out a shrieking howl, scaring the boys a bit before she takes off and fisting really angrily]

 **Liam:** I hope that worked.

 **Zach:** Don't worry. Dairyland is huge. It'll take her a while to search through there.

[Cut to the 8 Loud sisters and Lincoln at Sam's house.]

 **Sam:** Well, Louds, welcome to my humble abode! [opens the door to reveal a cluttered interior]

 **Lincoln:** Well, it's quite a tiny space to live in here.

 **Lola:** This place looks like a dump!

 **Lincoln:** Lola!

 **Sam:** Well, it may be a dump, but it's MY dump. I just have to, deal with my living conditions any way I can, you know?

 **Lincoln:** Yeah, I've been there before.

 **Lola:** I'm not stepping in.

 **Sam:** Well, unless you have any other ideas on where to hide your endangered brother, I suggest you come in.

 **Lola:** Oh, I guess so.

[The Louds come into the house.]

 **Sam:** Feel free to make yourselves at home. I'll be off to stall Lori if either she finds out where Lincoln is, or Lincoln's friends did a poor job of misleading her. Take care! [leaves]

 **Lincoln:** In that case, we may as well go see what Sam is up to here.

[Cut to a montage of the ten exploring Sam's house.]

[Cut to a montage of Lori searching for any signs of Lincoln in Dairyland, but to no avail.]

 **Lori:** Excuse me, have you seen a white-haired boy with an orange polo today?

 **Dairyland Employee:** Nope.

 **Lori:** Have you?

[Tippy The Cow nods "no".]

[Cut to later when Lori is sitting on a bench.]

 **Lori:** [growls] I've looked literally everywhere for Lincoln here! [realizes] Wait a minute! I think I remember when I put tracking devices on the sisters and Lincoln's attire that one time.

[Cut to flashback of Lori sneaking into each of her siblings' rooms and puts hidden tracking devices on their siblings' clothing while they're asleep.]

 **Lori:** I'll just use the app to find Lincoln. [taps Lincoln's name] Hmm... says here, he's at 245 Watterson Blvd.

[Cut to Lori leaving Dairyland.]

 **Lori:** Now that I know where Lincoln is, there's no way he's going to avoid ME now.

[Lori is dashing at an incredible speed towards Sam's house, which is viewed upon by the latter on a rooftop through some binoculars.]

 **Sam:** Looks like I'll be able to put my Brit outfit to some use before Halloween.

[Sam slides down a streetlamp and sets up a makeshift tollway. Lori runs into it, taking the toll bar to her stomach.]

 **Sam:** [clears throat] [British accent] Excuse me, madam. In order to get through this part of town, I'm going to need you to take this survey first. [gives Lori a large stack of papers and a pen]

[Cut back to Sam's house. Lincoln gets to the couch with bowls of popcorn and soda.]

 **Lincoln:** So, what movie are we watching?

 **Lynn:** The Croods. They're like the Dreamworks version of the Flintstones.

 **Lincoln:** Alright.

 **Luna:** Shh. It's starting.

[The group watches the aforementioned movie, until one scene plays.]

 **Guy:** I was up all night, because all these ideas kept coming to me.

 **Eep:** Is that a snake?

 **Guy:** Belt, new and improved. It's even self-tightening!

[Lincoln shrieks and hides behind the couch.]

 **Lana:** [pauses the movie] Jeez, was was that about?

 **Luna:** Come on, Linc. There's nothing to be afraid of here.

 **Lincoln:** [slowly coming from behind the couch] You sure, Luna?

 **Luna:** Yes, I'm sure.

 **Lincoln:** I don't know. What if Lori finds me here and gets me? [starts crying]

[Everyone, including Luna, start to feel bad for Lincoln.]

 **Luna:** Hey, bro?

 **Lincoln:** Yes?

 **Luna:** I know what you're going through. We all do. And we just can't bear to see you like this.

[Lincoln sniffles.]

 **Luna:** In fact, a certain someone told me once that sometimes, the only way to get out of a down moment is to start boxing. And by "boxing", he meant beatboxing. [pulls out a microphone, clears throat] Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na... [beatboxes] Feel it, [beatboxes] uh huh. [beatboxes] Lincoln Loud on the mike, go.

 **Lincoln:** Oh. Um... [beatboxes] [happy] Oh my gosh! This does make me feel better!

[Then, everyone starts to beatbox.]

[Cut to Lori finally finishing up the last of the paperwork.]

 **Lori:** [gives Sam the papers] There! It's all finished! Now, let me through!

 **Sam:** Actually, that was just part one of five other sets of paperwork you have to do.

 **Lori:** [fed up] Alright! That's it! [rips off Sam's disguise] I know it's you, Sam! I played along with your little charade long enough! [grabs Sam by the shirt and chucks him to the stairs of the Royal Woods Public Library]

 **Sam:** [on the way down] Oh no, not again! [falls down the stairs from the very top, whilst doing Bobby McFerrin-esque scatting on the way down]

 **Little Boy:** Coooooollll.

[Sam's phone begins to ring.]

 **Sam:** [answers] Y'ello?

 **Lynn:** Sam, we're experiencing an earthquake over here, and it's pretty safe to assume that Lori's on her way.

 **Sam:** Alright, I'll be right over, [hangs up] [to the viewers] Aww, here it goes!

[Meanwhile, at Sam's house, the Louds (sans Lynn) are still boxing.]

 **Luan:** Wait, don't you guys hear something?

[They all hear a rumbling sound, and Lori zooms across the screen on her stomach, grabbing Lincoln in the process.]

 **TO BE CONTINUED**


	4. Chapter 4

[Everyone hears a rumbling sound, and Lori zooms across the screen on her stomach, grabbing Lincoln in the process.]

 **Lori:** [screeching to a halt, shouts] I'M GONNA KILL YOU, LINCOLN!

 **Lincoln:** [crying] No! Wait! Please! It wasn't me!

 **Lori:** I'VE HAD IT WITH YOUR CRUD, LINCOLN! NOW YOU'RE GONNA-

[Sam bursts in and tackles Lori while the other sisters and Clyde form a human shield around Lincoln.]

 **Sam:** No, you're not! You're not gonna hurt him again!

 **Lori:** GET OUT OF MY WAY, SAM! [chucks Sam at the wall, knocking him out]

[Lori then heads over to the human shield to get Lincoln.]

 **Luna:** You're not going to hurt our brother again, Lori!

[Lori effortlessly piles through the human shield and finally gets to Lincoln.]

 **Lori:** [chokeholding Lincoln] YOOOOOU...

(Lori shakes with fury, then becomes ominously calm)

 **Lori:** Oh, what I'm gonna do to you.

(Lori is nervously evil)

 **Lori:** (Pant, Pant, Pant) I'm so ANGRY! First... I'm gonna tear your lips out. Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do. And then... I'm gonna... GOUGE your eyes out. Yeah!... That's what I'm gonna do.

[Lincoln is shaking heavily in fear and tears are running down his face.]

 **Lori:** Yeah, you're scared, huh? Next... I'm gonna... T-t-t-t-t... T-t-TTT... TEAR your arms out of the sockets!

[Lincoln whimpers.]

 **Lori:** And you wanna know what else? I'm gonna hit ya, and you're gonna fall... And I'm gonna look down and I'm gonna laugh.

[Lincoln cries softly, and shakes in fear.]

 **Lori:** But first...

[Lincoln gasps.]

 **Lori:** FIRST... [calmly] I've gotta take a whiz.

(Lincoln is shocked)

 **Lori:** [releases Lincoln and sets him on the floor] Don't you go anywhere. You... Stay... Right... Here. Right... On... This... Spot. I'll be back!

[Lori heads off to the bathroom. Then, Sam regains consciousness.]

 **Sam:** [to the viewers] I may as well be a superhero after all those times I got knocked out. [heads over to Lincoln] Come on, Linc! We've gotta am-scray before you-know-who comes back.

[The 8 sisters and Clyde wake up.]

 **Luna:** [groans from pain] What happened?

 **Lincoln:** Lori piled through your human shield, and is about to rip me to shreds once she comes back from the bathroom.

 **Sam:** Come on, guys! Let's scram!

[They all leave the house. Soon after, Lori comes back.]

 **Lori:** Alright, I'm done. [cracks her knuckles] And now to- [notices no one's around] Huh? Where'd the twerp go?!

[Cut to the Louds, Clyde, and Sam running for Lincoln's life.]

 **Clyde:** [panting] I think we'll need a faster mode of transportation.

[Sam looks around for any vehicular support. He then sees a van with a rocket on top of it.]

 **Sam:** How about that? [points to the rocket van] [heads over to two anthropomorphic ducks] Excuse me, can we borrow your flying van?

 **SwaySway:** Actually, we are-

 **Sam:** [singsong]I've got breadsticks. [waves the bag of breadsticks in front of SwaySway and Buhdeuce, throws it into the forest]

[SwaySway and Buhdeuce go for the bait. Meanwhile, the friends jump in the van.]

 **Sam:** So, guys, I'm gonna be driving, since the eyebrows say that I'm in charge. Now, how to start this? [pushes random buttons which triggers the van's varying functions, until he presses the start button] Alright, got it!

[Sam flies the van into the air and starts doing some cool tricks.]

 **Sam:** Haha! This is just like a video game!

 **Lincoln:** At least Lori won't be able to get us up here.

 **Lori:** [from outside] I wouldn't be so sure about that.

[Everyone (sans Sam) looks out the window to see Lori in a minirocket.]

 **Luna:** What the? How did you-

 **Lori:** Borrowed it from some kid named Jimmy Neutron.

[Flashbacks to Jimmy running some experiments while Lori steals his rocket in the background.]

[Lori then rams the rocket into the back of the van, breaking through the doors and trying to tackle Lincoln. However, the others try to save Lincoln. As a result, a huge dust cloud is made.]

 **Sam:** Guys! Careful around the controls!

[Sam ends up getting sucked into the cloud and the van starts plummeting downwards. After a few minutes of fighting, everyone soon realizes the fate ahead of them.]

 **Everyone:** [screams]

[The van crashes, producing an explosion with burnt pieces of bread in it. Everyone slowly climbs out of the debris, moderately scathed. Cut to Lori in and Lincoln in front of the former's door.]

 **Lori:** And that's what would happen if you were to botch my prom dress for tomorrow

 **Lincoln:** I highly douby any of that would actually happen.

[Lori growls like a lion at him.]

 **Lincoln:** OK, OK! [heads back to his room]

 **Sam:** [comes up the stairs, holding his 3DS] Hey, Linc, want to play some Smash 4?

 **Lincoln:** [opens his door] You bet!

[The two boys then start playing Smash 4 on their 3DS's.]

 **THE END**


End file.
